" What is essential
in the pleasure between females and males is a matter of taking
it slowly and continuing for a long time. If the man can go
slowly and continue for a long time, the woman will be greatly
delighted.... . "
- Huang Lao -
People often ask how Astrology relates to healing and health.
Isn't it just a parlour game for fun and amusement?
In fact, the ancients took astrological data quite seriously
when considering a possible relationship of any kind, but particularly
when looking for a mate. By matching up compatible qualities
at the beginning, marriages and other relationships stood a
much better chance of succeeding since the participants already
had wide areas of common interest.
A natural by-product of harmonious relationships is good health,
good fortune and a long life. The idea of marrying one's 'soul
mate' or 'falling in love' and basing a life's path on that
seems quite unwise and unhealthy to the ancients.
At the root of Chinese philosophy is the desire to achieve
balance and harmony with Nature and with one's environment.
One may well ask how one achieves that in a relationship when
it starts out in a hormone induced state of mental imbalance,
which 'falling in love', at the least the notion of Romantic
Love so common in the West, certainly is.
The ancients would argue that one has a much better chance
of finding 'true love', and a true bonding, that will last,
with a mate, scientifically shown to have compatible qualities.
It is certainly true, that many who start off a relationship
in a state of hormone induced ecstasy, and who can argue this
isn't a wonderful state to be in, find soon enough that conflict
arises and the relationship breaks apart, often with great harm
being done to the participants. Relationship break ups (and
not just marriages) are one of the most stressful experiences
encountered in modern society. Relationship break ups strike
at the very heart in an intimate and often devastating manner.
I have heard it said, that one doesn't really have a choice
about whom one 'falls in love with.' In my experience that is
very often the case. It is one of the more exciting things about
being human. On the other hand, feelings and emotions tend to
be quite unreliable leading to confusion and much stress without
the guiding light of the Head.
To the ancients it is preferable to develop a balance between
the head and the Heart. Emotions are very much a part of us
and they are meant to be expressed. It is healthy indeed to
express ourselves emotionally and leading with the Heart is
not wrong, per se, it is just unwise to place all your faith
A good balance between the Heart and the Head, between the
emotions and the intellect, makes for better choices. Blending
the emotions with the Intellect makes for more inspired choices
and genuine Joy. It is well known that longstanding emotional
disharmony is a major cause of illness, while those who generally
have a happy and calm disposition tend to be sick less and live
John Bradshaw, who coined the idea of the 'inner child' suggests
that in to-day's society what attracts us at the emotional level
is often the recognition of our own dysfunction in another.
It is often the case that two 'wounded' children come together
each looking to the other for healing, or at least to replace
the 'wounded' parent that anchored the dysfunction in the first
Neither is able to move beyond the emotional/reactive state.
Astrological data can be enormously helpful to bring understanding
and a rational approach to such a situation. Even better to
the ancients, avoid the stress of such situations altogether
by consulting one's charts before one is carried too far along.
By doing so, one will avoid much stress and possible illness,
attract good fortune and live a longer and happier life.
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