The following is a process originally taught by Paul Solomon
of Virginia Beach, USA, and was taught by my Reiki teacher, the
late Denise Crundall. Understanding emotions is pivotal to the
journey of healing. It was well known to ancient healers that
emotional disharmonies are a primary cause of disease in the body.
Dealing with our emotions is the first step into the world of
metaphysic, that is beyond the Cartesian model that says only
that which can be detected with the 5 physical senses is real.
According to this exercise, an identified and experienced emotion
leads one to clarifying the underlying belief. This is something
like a dominoe effect. Coming to terms with a deeply buried belief,
diminishes the intensity of the emotion, which in turn 'cures'
the physical manifestation. But first you deal with the emotion.
We, very often have the tendency to suppress our emotional expression,
especially if it is an emotion like anger that we judge to be
'bad' somehow. Emotions are meant to be expressed. They are actually,
a gateway to the inner being. Like many good things, this exercise
takes some time to learn, but once you do, you will be welcoming
anything that provokes an emotional expression into your life
as another opportunity to learn something more about yourself.
One final note. The name of this exercise is 'mastering' the emotions....
not controlling them, deleting them, nor is it about always being
'happy', which is after all, just another emotion. It is about
using emotions that come up normally and naturally for healing
the self, for discovering the self, for walking in your own path.
It is also often, also, referred to as '9-stepping', because,
curiously enought, there are 9 steps.
My teacher often said, 'jump into the River of Emotion and it
takes you to the Ocean of Truth.'
The Nine Steps
Step 1. I recognize that
I am choosing to do an emotion..........The first step is to simply
acknowledge that you are being emotional. It is surprising how
many people are so successful at suppressing their emotions they
have lost all touch with their own feelings.
Describe the emotion in a word .......
the list below for the definition of the emotion you have chosen.
Accept responsibility for what you are feeling........
It is said that the only thing you
can really control in Life is your own reaction to it. At this
point acknowledge that, at some level, it is yourself who is choosing
to react, rather than blaming someone else for provoking you.
Step 4. Describe
the catalyst or circumstances or event that provokes the emotional
My belief about myself in this situation is.......
This is a step that a lot of people
get stuck on because our beliefs about ourselves, especially the
ones we consider negative, tend to be buried quite deep. The key
is to keep the focus on yourself. For example, you cannot say,
'I am angry because she's a jerk.' It would be more like, 'I am
angry because I can't control her.'
Is this belief valid? Do I still want it?
If your belief about yourself is
some variation on 'I am not worthy.... do you still want that?
What is the carrot? What is it you hope to accomplish
by expressing the emotion?
This relates to the catalyzing agent.
For example, do you hope to get your spouse to be more attentive,
your co-worker more cooperative or your child more obedient?
Step 8. Does this emotion
work to get the carrot? That is do you accomplish what it is you
Do you still want the carrot?
Do you still want to accomplish whatever
it is you wanted at the beginning of this exercise? Choose a better
Emotions are important and meant to be expressed.
They keep us in touch with we are and with our world. When expressed
in a positive and affirming manner, even Anger and Fear have Life
enhancing qualities. Our emotions give us power and strength and
the ability to communicate passionately and with inspiration.
Mastering them is an important step towards mastering yourself
and your world. Please note, that this is not an exercise to get
rid of emotions, but to master them.
Anger, Aggravation, Annoyance,
Frustration, Impatience, Irritation, Resentment:
Loss of control over others or
self and the attempt to regain it.
the self to avoid preparing for a situation.
Boredom, Apathy, Indifference,
: Not taking responsibility
for your own happiness.
mind; avoiding making a decision.
Helplessness as a luxury.
a fantasy of danger that has not yet happened.
Grief, Sadness, Remorse:
Loss of control over the source of love and
over a past situation in order to avoid taking action now.
of the source of attention and source of self identity.
of responsibility for your own feelings. No one can hurt you without
of inadequacy to a known or unknown competitor.
responsibility for your happiness on someone else.
Regret, Disappointment, Sadness:
Feeling inferior because things don't go
the way you want them to.
Unsuccessful attempt to gain the approval of another.
in helplessness as a luxury.
Disdain, Indignation, Pride, : Feeling
superior to another to feel good about yourself.
for external approval.
the self to avoid preparing for a situation.
The purpose of this exercise is to help you identify
the emotions you are feeling and to help you express them
in a more constructive way. While this exercise works with
emotions and feelings you may have about yourself, in most
cases they arise out of your day to day interactions with
others. It would be quite easy to deal with emotions if
you never had to deal with people. Some people, though,
just piss you off, or make you feel inadequate, or hurt
your feelings in some way. That's the way some people are.
The point is that these situations and these people are
not about to change just because you have feelings. It is
up to you to take charge of your emotions and how you express
them. Ask yourself honestly the next time you pop off at
someone, what is it you really want to accomplish. Most
people will treat you exactly the way you want to be treated.
It is up to you to be clear about what that means. Finally,
think of it this way. Do you still want to be a victim,
reacting to what goes on around you, or do you want to take
control and act according to the rules you have for yourself?
5 STEP PROCESS FOR 2
OR MORE PEOPLE
This process can be done anywhere and anytime
and usually doesn't take very long unless one of the people
is really stuck. It involves filling in the blanks to the
statements. It is best if you don't think much about what
you say. Speak from the heart, the first thing that comes
up. There is no right or wrong to it. The point of this
exercise is to improve communication between people. Most
often, what comes out of our mouths has a great deal of
unspoken meaning behind it. This exercise helps to get behind
the words, especially if you taken offense at what someone
has said or they have taken offense at something you have
said. This can be a very powerful exercise and requires
Each person in turn speaks to other following
Step 1. "When I hear you say ____________________
Step 2. " I think that means ______________________
Step 3. " That makes me feel _____________________
Step 4. "My fear is that _________________________
Step 5. " I want you to know my true
feeling is _______ ."
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